• bbaylid

What matters.

I looked at an old journal I used to write in. Let's just say, I have a tendency to be a tad dramatic at times. It's comical and also embarrassing how clearly worked up I was over the tiniest details. It made me wonder about what I could write in that journal today. In a perfect world, I'd realize that my problems are not as catastrophic as they seem to be right now. In a more perfect world, I would never have problems but that's just wishful thinking. I think it's okay when something or thingS (I mean that very plurally) happen and it's hard to control the overwhelming feelings that come along with them. It's okay when it's hard to face realities of what might be or how a situation might turn out even though it's scary. But it's not okay to be scared forever and let fear take over your life and your love for it. I'm still working through the idea that everything will work out. It's a challenging statement for me every day because who told you it would? How? When? There are so many unanswered questions I can't help but feel lost and confused. In a situation that's out of your control, whatever happens, was meant to happen and that's what matters. Looking through that journal and seeing my inner monologue of all the things weighing me down helps open my eyes. Because I obviously lived through it and I know now how it all turned out. You would think I'd know better after my long twenty years on this earth but reminders are helpful. So this is my reminder to you that what matters will work out. And when you're looking through your high school diary you'll see that the things that don't matter reallllly don't matter.

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