• Bayli Jean

Changes.

So you know how you have this big plan for the coming years of your life? You create some Pinterest boards and set all these expectations for what it's going to be like once you finally get where you're going. So ready to start that dream job or move to that city or leave for that school you've wanted to go to forever. The idea of it is all you can think about and nothing can stand in your way, it's pretty much written in stone, right? If it was up to me, I'd have everything go your way down to the last tiny detail but unfortunately, life and I aren't exactly on the same page a lot of the time. What I've learned especially in the last couple of years is that life is a lot of things but consistent is not one of them. Your plan is going to be adjusted a few million times and you have to learn to roll with the punches or you're going to be a very unhappy human. Remembering that what's meant to be will be and that God's always got your back is a necessity amid all the craziness. My brother has talked me through countless mental breakdowns (I don't know how he deals with me sometimes...) and he usually incorporates some Lil Wayne lyrics because obviously, he's a genius. "Let that shit work itself out" has become words I keep in the back of my mind at all times. Not only is it poetic but honestly sometimes you spend so much energy on things that are just not in your control. I'm not going to lie to you, it sucks a ton sitting back and watching things pan out differently than expected but keeping faith that it's for the best is all you can really do. Believe me, if you would have told me at this time last year that I would be on a military base in Georgia writing these words I would have told you to stop capping. It's still surreal to me sometimes that I'm a soldier now, like what? I did that? Since when did I even think about putting on a green suit and tying up some (extremely heavy) combat boots? I was going to go to the University of Minnesota and maybe join a sorority, go to a million football games, and just find myself there. Fast forward a semester and I'm already in so much debt, I'm so depressed and lonely in my single dorm, I'm so not living the life I had planned so my plan got altered. I knew joining the army was going to be hard but nothing could have prepared me for how much it physically hurt to be away from home and the best family and friends in the world. I still miss Minnesota like crazy and would sell my soul to get on a plane home time now but I'm keeping faith that what I'm doing here is what I needed to do. I've done things I never thought I'd do like sleep on the ground in the woods for four nights eating out of a plastic bag... Yeah, I'd say there was a glitch in the plan somewhere, or maybe God penciled that in just to be funny. But boy have I done some really amazing things and met some really amazing people. I always find things that surprise me because they feel like home and that's what helps get me through. Search for the good in the bad and these changes will soon just feel normal. No matter how deep you think you are, you'll resurface and look back relieved it didn't work out any other way. The things I have learned about myself have been incomparable to anything I have ever experienced in my life and I know once I finally go home in a few months, all the gloomy moments I've had will be worth it. Change is good! It's only human to be a little scared of it- or if you're like me, borderline terrified of it- but please just try to embrace it.


50 views2 comments
COntact us
  • Grey Twitter Icon
  • Grey Instagram Icon
  • Grey Facebook Icon

© 2023 by The New Frontier. Proudly created with Wix.com